What her friend says... (V)

Few days back when ppl said she will be cremated in paris, i was very sad coz we won't be seeing her anymore.. Now that she'll be 'with us' for few days.. i still won't be able to see her anymore, as i'm leaving Sunday early morning..

I remember the last time i saw her. it was a Thursday.. She was in charge of icu, doing her periphery rounds with laty in C7.. i was postcall. I knew that she was leaving for Capetown the next day, and be back just for a day before she flew to Paris.. So went searching for her, wished her good luck for her treatment. For some reasons, i felt like giving her a big, tight hug. I did. I had palpitations.. But she was so cool about it.

And we all know, that's Bee Hooi.. Rarely she panics. A good doctor, a loving mother, a caring sister, and a true friend to all of us. That's the last time i saw her. Will remember that last moment with her till my last breath.. May she rest in peace, as she had brought joy to many people's lives and touched everyones heart in very special way.. Will always miss the way she matches her earings with her pendants.. I always looked out for it.

Gosh! I miss her... :(

Dr Anisa (28th March)

In Remembrance....

Few days before I leaving for USM Kelantan...
Felt sad when I editing the DVD...
Really missed Dr Tan Bee Hooi... her face, her smile, laughter and most important thing is the way she encourage me...
She always tell me, don't panic... you can do it... and I will always remember it...
She promises to run the Amata Free Clinic in Mahindrama Temple but she never has the chance...
Now I can't share DVDs with her... the dance movies...

Bee Hooi, as you wished to be addressed, I really missed you...

Meaningful Quotes

Dr. Tan Bee Hooi had this nice habit of getting quotes from the net, printing it out and attaching it to the board of our OT call room. This quote below, attributed to Mother Theresa, was posted by her last year. It remains there till today:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may just never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway.

Thank you Bee Hooi, for showing us lesser folk how to live life. Mother Theresa would be proud.

Dr Imran

7 weeks had passed...

Yesterday was the 49th day Bee Hooi left us. Time really flies, and although 7 weeks had passed, I still find it hard to believe that Bee Hooi is no longer with us. Everytime I look back at her picture, she seems so alive. I can still "hear" her voice and her cheerful laughters.

I can still recall that morning ~ 25 March 2008 around 8 am, when Goay called me, breaking the cruel heartbreaking news. I was in total shock, totally lost for words and felt like the world was turning upside down. Deep inside my heart, I prayed and I hoped that it was just a lie and not true...

I had lost count of how many times i broke into tears especially the first two weeks. I'm a person who seldom shed tears and I haven't cry so much for ages except when my father passed away 8 years ago. On a side note, I can still remember the scene of Bee Hooi consoling me inside the changing room that morning in May 2003, when I received the bad news that my dad was critically ill in Sarawak and I was so far away here in Penang. I really appreciate Bee Hooi's kind act very much although I never tell her how much that meant to me at that moment.

Although I might look happy from external apperance, but deep inside my heart, the pain and sorrow is still there. I'm still thinking of Bee Hooi most of the time. Bee Hooi, I miss you...

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day...

You had always wished and wanted to bring up your two lovely kids personally,

And one of the reasons you went for the treatment in Paris was,

A chance to get well...

And be able to bring and raise up your two young boys,

and see them growing up.

It's heartbreaking to know that you couldn't be with them physically anymore,

And furthermore with another frustrating incidence that occur recently...

The boys might be too young to understand what is going on at this moment.

Bee Hooi, regardless where you are now,

I believe you are looking at them from above,

and you will continue to shower your blessings upon them.

I will continue to keep and uphold you, your kids and your family members in prayers.

Tribute

Penang Hospital Bulletin (1st Edition, 2008)

Ministry of Health/Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia :

M'sian doctor dies in Paris, donates organs to patients in Europe

Malaysian Society of Transplantation :
In death, she saves lives

Malaysian Medical Resources :
Giving the Gift of Life II

Malaysian Medical Resources :
In Loving Memory of Dr Tan Bee Hooi

Ministry of Foreign Affairs :
Letter from Embassy of Malaysia, Paris

Suffering & Death

The followings were taken from one of the emails written to me by Bee Hooi some time back, in August 2004. We were discussing about illness, suffering, and death as an end to suffering. Bee Hooi was still in UK at that time and that email was written before she was diagnosed with AVM.

Date: Sun, 29 Aug 2004 22:30:16 +0100
From: BH Tan

Dear SL,

I agree that it must be a relief to leave the illness and sufferings. Hmm every life in this planet is bound to suffer, it's just a matter of time and only those in heaven or have reached nirvana is off sufferings in eternity. After seeing people suffer in the hospital, I just think that life is just like that, we should treasure the every moment that we have now as our turn to suffer can come any time.

One of my ICU nurses has just been diagnosed to have ovarian cancer and she underwent chemo and now admitted to ICU postoperatively for observation. I couldn't recognise her when I went into ICU initially until someone told me about her. From memory, she was sweet and cheerful when I worked with her 2 years ago and look what happened to her now? the more we grow up, the more sufferings we will face with, don't you think so? I always think back to the good old childhood days when we were so innocent and had no worries at all!! Now we have more and more responsibilities!

Ya, Life is so unpredictable, bad things or good things can come so suddenly, isn't it? So, we 'd better enjoy every moment that we can before it is too late.................

*Snip*
(I've removed the subsequent unrelated paragraphs in the email)

take care,

Bee Hooi

Reading this email again put me in deep thought. Just like the Chinese saying, ~ 百般感觉，百般滋味, 顿时涌上了我的心头. Although Bee Hooi's stay in this world was short, but she had lived her life to the fullest.