In Loving Memory of Dr Tan Bee Hooi (陈美慧医生)

捐全身器官留雙腳‧“我要女兒靈魂回家”

2010-08-19T11:58:00.005+08:00

（檳城）28年前，當時任馬佛青總會會長拿督陳穎椿毅然簽下器官捐獻同意書，並向家人宣佈：“當那一天到來時，你們要替我決定，甚麼時候才是最適當（捐器官）的時間。”然而，他萬萬沒想到，女兒陳美慧的“時機”卻比他早到了一步。

2008年，因患上先天性腦動靜脈畸形而到法國動手術的陳美慧醫生，在法國被宣判腦死，令為父者陳穎椿一度悲痛欲絕，彷彿世界陷入一片黑暗，但在那一瞬間，他腦中忽然“亮”起女兒捐贈器官的遺願。他心想，即使女兒不在人世，但捐贈器官之舉至少可讓她的器官繼續留在人世，於是，他當下忍痛捐出女兒的所有器官，獨留女兒的一雙腿。這是因為他希望客死異鄉的女兒能“有腳回家”，免得成了有家歸不得的孤魂野鬼。

陳穎椿自青年時期就學佛，半輩子都活躍於佛教活動，他自然明白生命無常，只是，當無常降臨在自己身上時，卻教人難以接受。

他對《光明日報》說，2008年3月，37歲的女兒陳美慧出發到法國接受治療時，全家人包括女兒自己，都沒想過這是他們永遠的訣別。

“她在巴黎的時候，每天都跟我聯絡，要回國那天早上，她還在簡訊告訴我，說下午要回來了，結果下午他們就通知我，她又進院了。”

他本來還想叫美慧多休息幾天才回國，可是美慧卻堅持要回來。“當他們說她進院了，要我過去時，我就知道情況不妙。趕到醫院後不久，醫生就宣佈她腦死。”

拒讓女兒魂魄留法國

女兒永遠不能醒來了，這項晴天霹靂的消息，令陳穎椿措手不及，悲痛萬分。他凝視著在病榻上的女兒，回憶起女兒從出世、成長，到蛻變成別人的妻子和母親的點點滴滴，還有她勇敢抗病的過程，陳穎椿越想就越痛苦。

“她不過30多歲而已，還沒有走完人生的一半，卻已經躺在那裡，永遠也醒不來了。”

就在這一刻，陳穎椿忽然想到，女兒雖不在這個世界了，但至少她的身體還在，她的器官還活著。

他說，他記起自己在1980年簽署捐贈器官自願書時曾經對家人說過：“你們要替我決定，甚麼時候才是最適當（捐器官）的時間”，也想起女兒簽下捐獻器官同意書的那個傍晚，也如此告訴家人。於是，他強忍悲痛，對醫生說：“她的腦已經不能用了，你們看她的甚麼器官還能用，統統拿去救其他人吧。”

“想不到，結果竟然變成是由我來替她做決定，雖然很傷心、很辛苦，但我知道必須要快點做決定。法國醫生當時一聽到我這個來自東方社會的老人家，主動開口說要把女兒的器官捐出去，都露出難以置信的表情。”

不過，當醫生向陳穎椿說明他們將採用的器官時，陳穎椿卻突然向院方提出一項要求，即他想要保留美慧的雙腿。

他說，他不要美慧的魂魄獨留法國，他要美慧和他一起回返大馬，所以美慧不能“沒有腳”，由此可見，他對女兒是多麼的不捨。

他在向記者覆述這個過程時，語氣平淡，但他疼愛女兒的“深情”卻讓人動容不已，聞者無不為之鼻頭一酸。

器官可捐西方人

在決定讓醫生取出美慧的器官前，陳穎椿得知其中一名急需一顆心臟續命的受益人是一名30多歲的法國人後，忽然擔心起來：美慧的器官適用在西方人的身上嗎？

“醫生向我保證沒有問題，既然有人在等著美慧的器官續命，我還等甚麼呢？美慧是醫生，她一直都在救人，這可是她最後一次救人了。”

歷時兩小時的手術，所幸器官也“無分國籍”，那個法國人最終成功移植美慧的心臟。

不想知誰是受益人

陳穎椿不想知道器官受益人的身份，也不想知道他們移植手術的結果，更不想知道他們的近況。對他來說，美慧已經幫助了這些人，這就夠了。

“那個時候，醫生告訴我，美慧的心臟已經移植到一個法國人體內，手術順利，這樣就好了。美慧的器官能夠幫助其他人，我相信他們一定可以健康地活下去。”

可是，陳穎椿的妻子許梅蕊卻持有不同的想法：“我知道這是不符合規則，可是我還是會想知道，接受器官的人是怎樣的人？移植手術成功了嗎？受益人現在還好嗎？”

捐器官屬悲傷輔導

她說，她只是想知道，即使女兒已經不在人間，至少她的器官還在這個世界上，健康地繼續活著。

在大馬，願意捐獻器官的人不少，可是往往因為家屬的猶豫不決和醫院的技術性問題，導致不少人錯過捐贈器官的時機。

事實上，器官捐贈也是一種悲傷輔導，國外調查顯示，器官捐贈對家庭成員處理悲傷情緒和過程有正面的影響。不少家屬在同意讓垂死的親人捐出器官後，都能從中找到慰藉。

捐心肝膽腎眼角膜皮膚

當陳穎椿決定捐出女兒陳美慧的所有器官後，法國醫生馬上深入檢查陳美慧的遺體。過後，醫生決定使用美慧的心臟、肝臟、膽、腎、眼角膜、皮得以遺愛人間。

陳穎椿披露，治療女兒的法國醫生可說是最權威的專家，而有關手術的風險不超過5%，所以，在女兒動身前想過自己回不來，她而已。

他依稀記得2008年的一天早上，當他駕車載美慧到檳城中央醫院上班途中，聽見美慧說自己的眼睛有時候會看不清楚，還以為女兒是過於操勞所致。詎料，檢驗結果卻指美慧患上先天性腦動靜脈畸形。

事後，美慧四處找資料，最終決定到法國接受治療。她還親自寫信給醫院和衛生部，還和法國當地的醫生聯絡，也獲得政府的津貼。

回國前病情惡化

到巴黎接受治療前，美慧還到南非參加一個研討會，當時適逢全國大選，她還抽出一天的時間趕回來投票，然後又匆匆忙忙回去研討會，展現過人的毅力。

3月11日，美慧到巴黎動手術，術後情況良好，她按照預定行程於16日動身返馬的那個早上，還廣發電郵、簡訊通知親友，可是，當她到酒店收拾東西時，突然頭痛及抽筋，再被送入醫院。儘管病情惡化，她仍堅持撥電回家，不要家人為她擔心。

餐桌上談論捐器官

美慧是在1990年代末簽署器官捐獻同意書，當時她已經從澳洲的大學畢業，正在檳城醫院工作。陳穎椿說，當年他簽署器官捐獻卡後，還和美慧解釋捐獻器官的善舉，直到十多年後女兒成為一名醫生，反倒回來告訴他，捐獻器官可以幫助別人。

“那時候，我們常常在晚餐時談論各種事，美慧就是在餐桌上告訴我們這件事，還勸大家加入捐器官的行列。”

陳穎椿是馬佛青的顧問及國家腎臟基金會北馬區副主席，加上女兒又是一名醫生，他深知病患有多需要這些器官來續命。

此外，陳妻許梅蕊披露，在丈夫和美慧的鼓勵下，他們全家人都願意捐獻器官，只不過尚未簽署捐贈同意書。

“穎椿簽署器官捐獻卡時，我也想簽，就叫他拿表格給我，結果他竟忘了。這事後來就不了了之。等美慧簽了捐器官卡時，我的年紀都已經這麼老了，也就沒再去填了。不過，美慧弟妹都願意捐器官。”

小檔案
主角：陳美慧
年齡：37歲
職業：醫生
家庭狀況：已與丈夫陳福祥離婚，兩名兒子分別7及9歲
離世原因：患先天性腦動靜脈畸形，動手術後腦死1990年代末簽署器官捐獻同意書
捐出器官：心臟、肝臟、膽、腎、眼角膜、皮膚和關節的軟骨組織

---

新闻背景
患先天性腦動靜脈畸形腦死

在檳城中央醫院任麻醉師的陳美慧，2005年發現自己患有先天性腦動靜脈畸形後，2008年3 月到法國巴黎就醫。她於3月12日動手術後情況良好，原定16日回國，但就在回國當天，她突然頭痛及抽筋，並被送到醫院動第二次手術，但最終陷入昏迷。

9天後，她因腦部大量出血而於3月26日被醫生宣判腦死，令父親陳穎椿悲痛不已。由於她生前已簽署器官捐獻卡，家人事後尊重她的遺願，捐出她的所有器官。

動靜脈畸形瘤（AVM）是血液循環系統的其中一項缺陷，是由糾纏不清的動脈和靜脈構成，外型像血瘤，但其實是血管無法正常發育所造成。AVM被認為在胚胎或嬰兒時期已經形成，可說是先天性的疾病，病發率約0.14至0.5%，無從預防。

擅長鋼琴及歌唱的陳美慧中學畢業後，就到新加坡深造，她過後到澳洲唸醫科，畢業後在檳城醫院就職。婚後，她隨前夫陳富祥到英國時，雖懷了第二胎，仍繼續進修課業，並在產子隔天考試，過後取得兩項專科資格。

美慧逝世那一年，檳州政府頒發一項傑出青年獎給她，可惜她已無法和家人一起分享這項殊榮。

光明日報‧2010.08.16

Happy Birthday Bee Hooi

2010-08-17T10:05:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Bee Hooi
Almost 2.5 years had passed since you left us,
And I have been thinking of you every now and then,
You had touched several lives when you were around,
And you gave the Gift of Life to many after you left,
So that they can continue to live,
Thanks for being a special friend that you are,
I miss you....

25.3.2010

2010-03-25T14:23:00.003+08:00

Two years had passed since Bee Hooi left us, and also this cruel world. Things are not the same without you, but I will stay strong and and cherish what I have. Life must go on. You have taught me to be optimistic and not to give up easily. I'm glad to have you as my friend and will always cherish all the memories that we had shared together. You are still deeply missed, Bee Hooi.

On this day..

2009-03-25T20:50:00.000+08:00

Bee Hooi, a year ago on this day u left us suddenly. One year had passed, and I believe you are already in a better place. Nevertheless, you are still deeply missed. You had touched several lives and it's a blessing to have you as my friend. I will always cherish your friendship and your good deeds. Your presence will always remain in my heart.

2008-11-06T14:50:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the long silence. It had been 2 months plus since I last updated this blog. No, I didn't abandon this blog. Just that my heart is heavy the last 2 months as I had lost another dear friend and colleague of mine, Yee Hoon, on the 3rd September 2008. It is so painful to lost two great friends within 6 months. Both of you are my dearest old friends in Penang Hospital. Till we meet again, someday and may God continue to bless both of you, my dear Bee Hooi and Yee Hoon richly. I will always cherish both your friendship and your presence will always remain in my heart...

Happy Birthday

2008-08-16T09:00:00.001+08:00

Hope you will have a wonderful day today.
Although you are no longer with us physically,
But we will always remember this day.

Happy Birthday Bee Hooi
Thanks for being a special friend that you are!!

Today is 16August...

2008-08-16T08:25:00.001+08:00

It has been some time since i last logged into...
I won't forget today... 16 August... anyway, those were memories...

Memories...

2008-08-01T08:00:00.002+08:00

Time flies... Four months plus has passed since Bee Hooi left us. But nevertheless, her presence will always remain in my heart. I'm still thinking of her every now and then. Two weeks ago when I was inside the flight from KLIA back to Penang, I thought of her, wondering how she is now in a far away land..

Few days back, when I was in LCCT awaiting for my transit flight, I recalled the last time when I was in LCCT, also awaiting for my transit flight back to Penang. That was on 24 March 2008 when few of us held a fasting and prayer session for Bee Hooi regardless our locations. So many things came up to my mind. It all seems like yesterday...

Bee Hooi, you are still deeply missed. Even though I am in Miri at the moment, I'm still thinking of you... :(

Day 105

2008-07-08T00:25:00.001+08:00

Today is the 105th day Bee Hooi left us. During these period of time, occasionally I will read back those hundreds of old emails which I corresponded with her during her stay in UK (from 2001 till early 2005). Reading those old emails again reminds me of the time whereby we share our happy and sad moments, up and down in lives, giggle over some minor events and happenings, sharing about personal stuff etc. This includes her experiences in the Harold Wood Hospital, at her new working places, her new friends and colleagues in Swansea, her frustrations, her vacations and tours in UK & Europe, how she passed her primary exam, the delivery of her second baby boy, the joints pain she experienced due to seronegative arthritis, her worries, discussing whether to came back to Malaysia or continue working in UK after passing her final exam and also some other personal stuff and family matters.

And, she loved using this phrase "Nevermind, life is just like that" or "Well, life is just like that". Yeah, i ditto with her in this matter and most importantly, we should live our lives to the fullest.

What Her Friend Says (VII)

2008-06-22T16:12:00.002+08:00

It's almost one month since Beehooi's tragic and untimely death,Yet,I still feel her presence in th e dept in my mind's eye all the time.I have learnt things from her too even thou I am much older than her.I think I am now more patient and less critical,and at peace within myself.Thanks to Beehooi for showing me how.

Dr NTan (22nd April)

Bee Hooi, i used to call her Dr Tan (eventhough there're few dr Tan in the department) which sound unfamiliar..as i really respect her as my mentor in all aspects of life.

i was a stranger to everyone when i first stepped into penang hospital at the end of 2005. kind of 'stranger anxiety' i was suffering, shy and anti-social, work-eat-sleep as normal routine, one morning, she delightedly approached me: gan, this is for you! my mum prepared friedrice as breakfast this morning,i ask for extra 1 more person, cause i thought you must be bored eating outside food everyday, let's try homemade food as your family not here...so touched and warm..seriously, i nearly cry...hence she was one of the friends that i would never want to lose...

may her rest in peace, nervana.

Dr Gan (23rd April)

Old Photos...

2008-06-12T18:41:00.000+08:00

Old Photos of Bee Hooi and a poem dedicated to her by her ex classmates.

(Taken from School Magazine)

Old Class Photo

Thanks to Dr Chan for contributing the photos.

What Her Friend Says (VI)

2008-06-05T18:57:00.000+08:00

The reason I haven't been on facebook is cos I refused to look at it after finding out about Bee Hooi. I knew that everyone was writing in it and I knew it would be painful to read and I couldn't bring myself to read it. Today is the first time I'm reading the threads since last week when the news came out. And as I feared, I am in tears. I hope to be able to attend the funeral tomorrow. I have never attended a friend's funeral before and I can't believe that I will be saying goodbye to someone who was a friend, a fellow salsa dance partner and a colleague.

Watching that youtube clip of her speaking, though I didn't understand what she said was heartbreaking...to know that we can never be with her again. I'd like to think that at least before she first collapsed she had happy thoughts of coming back cos she was so optimistic all the time.

I keep wondering why God has taken her away when she had so much going for her and I think it's because he wants her in Heaven with him.

Dr Divya (31st March)

What her friend says... (V)

2008-05-24T16:45:00.000+08:00

Few days back when ppl said she will be cremated in paris, i was very sad coz we won't be seeing her anymore.. Now that she'll be 'with us' for few days.. i still won't be able to see her anymore, as i'm leaving Sunday early morning..

I remember the last time i saw her. it was a Thursday.. She was in charge of icu, doing her periphery rounds with laty in C7.. i was postcall. I knew that she was leaving for Capetown the next day, and be back just for a day before she flew to Paris.. So went searching for her, wished her good luck for her treatment. For some reasons, i felt like giving her a big, tight hug. I did. I had palpitations.. But she was so cool about it.

And we all know, that's Bee Hooi.. Rarely she panics. A good doctor, a loving mother, a caring sister, and a true friend to all of us. That's the last time i saw her. Will remember that last moment with her till my last breath.. May she rest in peace, as she had brought joy to many people's lives and touched everyones heart in very special way.. Will always miss the way she matches her earings with her pendants.. I always looked out for it.

Gosh! I miss her... :(

Dr Anisa (28th March)

In Remembrance....

2008-05-22T22:37:00.002+08:00

Few days before I leaving for USM Kelantan...
Felt sad when I editing the DVD...
Really missed Dr Tan Bee Hooi... her face, her smile, laughter and most important thing is the way she encourage me...
She always tell me, don't panic... you can do it... and I will always remember it...
She promises to run the Amata Free Clinic in Mahindrama Temple but she never has the chance...
Now I can't share DVDs with her... the dance movies...

Bee Hooi, as you wished to be addressed, I really missed you...

Meaningful Quotes

2008-05-19T13:07:00.003+08:00

Dr. Tan Bee Hooi had this nice habit of getting quotes from the net, printing it out and attaching it to the board of our OT call room. This quote below, attributed to Mother Theresa, was posted by her last year. It remains there till today:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may just never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway.

Thank you Bee Hooi, for showing us lesser folk how to live life. Mother Theresa would be proud.

Dr Imran

7 weeks had passed...

2008-05-14T19:14:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the 49th day Bee Hooi left us. Time really flies, and although 7 weeks had passed, I still find it hard to believe that Bee Hooi is no longer with us. Everytime I look back at her picture, she seems so alive. I can still "hear" her voice and her cheerful laughters.

I can still recall that morning ~ 25 March 2008 around 8 am, when Goay called me, breaking the cruel heartbreaking news. I was in total shock, totally lost for words and felt like the world was turning upside down. Deep inside my heart, I prayed and I hoped that it was just a lie and not true...

I had lost count of how many times i broke into tears especially the first two weeks. I'm a person who seldom shed tears and I haven't cry so much for ages except when my father passed away 8 years ago. On a side note, I can still remember the scene of Bee Hooi consoling me inside the changing room that morning in May 2003, when I received the bad news that my dad was critically ill in Sarawak and I was so far away here in Penang. I really appreciate Bee Hooi's kind act very much although I never tell her how much that meant to me at that moment.

Although I might look happy from external apperance, but deep inside my heart, the pain and sorrow is still there. I'm still thinking of Bee Hooi most of the time. Bee Hooi, I miss you...

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T09:18:00.003+08:00

Today is Mother's Day...

You had always wished and wanted to bring up your two lovely kids personally,

And one of the reasons you went for the treatment in Paris was,

A chance to get well...

And be able to bring and raise up your two young boys,

and see them growing up.

It's heartbreaking to know that you couldn't be with them physically anymore,

And furthermore with another frustrating incidence that occur recently...

The boys might be too young to understand what is going on at this moment.

Bee Hooi, regardless where you are now,

I believe you are looking at them from above,

and you will continue to shower your blessings upon them.

I will continue to keep and uphold you, your kids and your family members in prayers.

Tribute

2008-05-08T21:24:00.002+08:00

Penang Hospital Bulletin (1st Edition, 2008)

Ministry of Health/Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia :

M'sian doctor dies in Paris, donates organs to patients in Europe

Malaysian Society of Transplantation :
In death, she saves lives

Malaysian Medical Resources :
Giving the Gift of Life II

Malaysian Medical Resources :
In Loving Memory of Dr Tan Bee Hooi

Ministry of Foreign Affairs :
Letter from Embassy of Malaysia, Paris

Suffering & Death

2008-05-03T18:43:00.000+08:00

The followings were taken from one of the emails written to me by Bee Hooi some time back, in August 2004. We were discussing about illness, suffering, and death as an end to suffering. Bee Hooi was still in UK at that time and that email was written before she was diagnosed with AVM.

Date: Sun, 29 Aug 2004 22:30:16 +0100
From: BH Tan

Dear SL,

I agree that it must be a relief to leave the illness and sufferings. Hmm every life in this planet is bound to suffer, it's just a matter of time and only those in heaven or have reached nirvana is off sufferings in eternity. After seeing people suffer in the hospital, I just think that life is just like that, we should treasure the every moment that we have now as our turn to suffer can come any time.

One of my ICU nurses has just been diagnosed to have ovarian cancer and she underwent chemo and now admitted to ICU postoperatively for observation. I couldn't recognise her when I went into ICU initially until someone told me about her. From memory, she was sweet and cheerful when I worked with her 2 years ago and look what happened to her now? the more we grow up, the more sufferings we will face with, don't you think so? I always think back to the good old childhood days when we were so innocent and had no worries at all!! Now we have more and more responsibilities!

Ya, Life is so unpredictable, bad things or good things can come so suddenly, isn't it? So, we 'd better enjoy every moment that we can before it is too late.................

*Snip*
(I've removed the subsequent unrelated paragraphs in the email)

take care,
Bee Hooi

Reading this email again put me in deep thought. Just like the Chinese saying, ~ 百般感觉，百般滋味, 顿时涌上了我的心头. Although Bee Hooi's stay in this world was short, but she had lived her life to the fullest.

What her friend says... (IV)

2008-04-29T21:19:00.000+08:00

I agree that organ donation is what she would do...
It pains me to mention her name in this context.

We all love her as a nice, mild and loving person.
She was patient and she was kind.
No words of evil had ever came from her mouth.
No act of despise had she done on anyone.

Such is the person I remember of her, and such is the image of her that will live in my heart forever. I will gladly fly back to Penang if there is a service in memory of her.

Dr Chan (26th March)

I am still in the depression stage, don't know will last for how long... Can't help recalling the moments that spent with her, how patient was she when I ask every tiny and silly question when I prepared my poster for presentation for the first time, the trip to MSA where we went to eat Ipoh's famous Hor fan and Taugeh chicken and we both laughed when Khor vomited within 10 minutes due to motion sickness... and how she had loved and pampered her children on the trip from KL back to Penang end of last year... All and all of these will now be the dearest memory for me...

Hope that her family can go thru the stages of grieving and so do all of us... Hope that whoever that gets her organs later will be blessed throughout their lives...

Dr Ang (26th March)

What her friend says... (III)

2008-04-24T19:15:00.001+08:00

It was but a fleeting moment of our lives, and it is amazing that in the short time that we have spent with Bee Hooi, she have affected us in ways that we never knew she could. Her passing away is so sudden, so unexpected and so cruel...

A void opens up in our hearts, of the emptiness at the loss of her presence. You never really realise that light, that color, that smile, that act until it is gone. Irrevocably gone. No words of comfort can fill the void of the loss. No amount of crying, of regret, of vengeance can make up for what we lost.

Friends, we are all in the Medical field. It is obvious that Bee Hooi would have thought all this out. Despite the risks, she decided to go on. True, she may not have considered dying, after all embolization is fairly safe. She must have struggled with the fact that she may have neurological deficit though. It must have been difficult to know that this procedure could leave you blind, or have loss of higher functions. It would not have been worthwhile to go through the embolization and return as a vegetable, or a disabled. Not for Bee Hooi.

We may think, that Bee Hooi should have planned better, well, you can plan all you want, but things may not turn out the way you want it to be or even the way you foresee. And to all who knew Bee Hooi, she was already planning on her life after returning from Paris. It had not been easy for her, to go through the embolization and crany alone in Paris, what more when she actually have hemianopia after the procedure. Could any of you have gone through it alone, without family? Would you have the courage to walk out on the streets of Paris with visual field defect? And yet in all her correspondence, she never did once show her fears, she didn't want any of us to feel helpless and sad. Bee Hooi is truly courageous. More than me at least.

All of us are now left to pick up the pieces from what she left us. Bits of memories, videos, pictures. And it would not be odd, to find things that reminds us of the fun, life loving, kind, beautiful, friendly person that we have come to love and cherish.

Dying is the easy part, it is the living that is hard. Many of us would have regretted not saying or doing so much with her. I think she would not fault any of us. As much as she can, we are her family at work. To think that she did so much at work, I can only say that she greatly enjoyed working with all of us. She didn't say her goodbyes, and we didn't said ours. But then again, she never really left. Not for me....

Dr Ho (26th March 2008)

爱心医生, 器官捐巴黎

2008-04-22T19:00:00.002+08:00

I get to know from Bee Hooi's sister a week ago that there is an article entitled "爱心医生, 器官捐巴黎" (A Caring Doctor, Donating her organs in Paris) on the latest 风采 (Feng Cai) @ Feminine Chinese Magazine (#487) . Belows are the snapshots of the articles. (I don't have a scanner to scan the pages).

(Click on each individual photo for a larger view of the photos and text).

What her friend says... (II)

2008-04-21T02:03:00.006+08:00

Those who face that which is actually before them, unburdened by the past, undistracted by the future, these are they who live, who make the best use of their lives; these are those who have found the secret of contentment. - Alban Goodier

Somehow it made me think of her.

Dr Ho (26th March 2008)

Even though I have been in this department for 1year 9months, I really got attached to her somehow... When I am going for my Master Part One, she always tell me, be calm be cool you can do it...

She taught me about blocks...
She taught me about life...
Sorry that i can't dance...

Dr Goay (26th March 2008)

Bee Hooi is a very strong and optimistic gal. Even though she went through lotsa hardship, heartaches and difficulties in her life over the last few years, but she never complaints nor give up. She always look at things in an optimistic way and strikes for the best. How many of us can do the same things if we are in her shoe?

Bee Hooi is indeed an amazing and courageous lady and throughout these years, she had left a huge impact in our lives. I'm glad to have her as my friend. Rest in Peace, Bee Hooi. I will truly miss u deeply. U are such a dearie..... And because of Bee Hooi's organs donation which bring hopes to those in need, She will also continue "living" through the bodies of others..

Dr Chen (26th March 2008)

In light with Bee Hooi's organ donation, Arun wrote this which i think is a well deserved statement about Bee Hooi. "This is a fitting end for a wonderful person, whose humanity lives pass her.."

Friends, i know all of us are really upset about Bee Hooi's going. I was too. but after I read all the mails from Dr Lim Wee Leong, I realised that there was no mistake in her wanting to do this. Many times before this I questioned the decision for her to proceed with the procedure. but now, I understand. What Dr Lim said is so true, it won't be Bee Hooi if she did not stand up and take this chance. I'm glad that Bee Hooi's family has agreed for the organ donation. At least now we know she still lives on somewhere out there.

Bee Hooi, you have been a dear friend to all of us. From now on, I wish you peace and happiness. I hope to see you someday when I pass on as well. Maybe then we can once again spend time gossiping and laughing about the silliest things in the world. I'll miss you terribly, but you have left nothing but fond memories... Thank you for being such a wonderful friend to me... farewell, Bee Hooi, and until we meet again. God bless you always..

Dr Choo (26th March 2008)

What her friend says... (I)

2008-04-20T01:40:00.005+08:00

At this point i don't have much to say. I cried the whole day today, but slowly I'm trying to accept the fact that bee hooi is no more here. I only know that after grieving we will have to move on with our lives. But as we do our daily work, we'll definitely be reminded of all the things she had said or done. she'll always be remembered as an Angel in our Lives.

I'm very sure she has only left good and sweet memories for us to safe keep. How many of us will be able to do that when we die? She has never wronged anyone, as far as i know. She has never complained or grumbled about the happenings in her life. She has always been strong throughout trials and difficulties in her life. And we should all learn from her. Although she's not here anymore with us, I'm sure her memories will live on forever in us.

I'll miss her dearly and it's never gonna be the same anymore without her. I just can't help but keep questioning myself, have I done enough for bee hooi when she was around? Have i ever done anything to hurt her or displease her? Have i ever forsaken her when she needed help? I hope not. I hope I hadn't been a lousy friend to her. It won't be easy for me to let go and be merry again, but after this, I'll look at life in a different way. Life is indeed so fragile. but as doctors, we tend to forget that ever so often. It's time to sit back and think, have we done enough for our loved ones? If not, start now before it's too late....

I can't sleep tonite. my heart is aching so badly. I dream of bee hooi this afternoon when i took a nap. She was still as beautiful, with all smiles on her face. She looked really happy. I woke up after that o the horrible news of her death. I don't know if it was really bee hooi coming to say goodbye in my dreams or if it's just my mind playing tricks on me cause i've been thinking about her for the past few days....

Dr Choo (26th March 2008)

WCA, Cape Town.

2008-04-14T23:29:00.001+08:00

Dr Tan Bee Hooi had participated in and conducted several trials, studies and researches in the hospital. She had also presented several papers, both locally and internationally.

Photo of our beloved Dr Tan Bee Hooi presenting her free paper at the 14th World Congress of Anaesthesia (WCA) in Cape Town, South Africa in early March 2008. That was few days prior to her treatment of AVM in Paris.

Dance Performances (OT Nite 2006)

2008-04-08T19:41:00.000+08:00

Bee Hooi was an avid and talented dancer since school days. She had organised and took part in several dance performances throughout these years. Below are 3 video clips of the dance performances she participated (including the Line Dances) taken with my handphone during OT Nite 2006 (by the Anaesthesiology and Intensive Care Department, Penang Hospital) held in Northam Hotel in November 2006.

Our dear Tacia (big sister)

2008-04-05T16:29:00.007+08:00

Those who chatted with Bee Hooi before on MSN instant messenger or Windows Live Messenger will know that Bee Hooi uses tacia as her display name. I remembered few years back while chatting online with her, I asked why she used the name tacia. And the reply I got was something that I never expected. She said she is the eldest sister in her family, hence tacia. How come I never thought of that earlier on? Tacia = Big Sister in chinese. Well, Bee Hooi is not only the eldest sister in her family, she is also a dear sister to me, and to many of us. A sister who is always there to share our problems, giving advices, cheer us up etc.

Kevin :
Bee Hooi is like a sister to most of us, not just a specialist. I will miss her very much.... :-( I was on call with her once in ICU. We were treating a patient who was dying and I didn't know what to do. She stayed with me the whole night until the patient passed away...

Goay :
Oh Gosh!! Am really really depressed!!! My heart is aching... Even i am in Penang GH for the past one year 9 months... Dr Tan Bee Hooi is like sister to me... I kept calling her Dr Tan, but she always want me to call her by her name...

Lee :
Dr. Tan, u are like my sister... gave me advice whenever i have problem.. Cheer me up when i am sad.... i really miss u... i still remember, u do O&G list for me so that i can attend the ACLS course, even though u are post call...u teach me so many thing when i first join anaesthesia..

I will still continue to keep Bee Hooi's contact number in my mobile phone, her email as well as her contact in my instant messenger even though I will never see her online again...

The Final Journey

2008-04-04T16:15:00.007+08:00

It was a tough time for most of us during Bee Hooi's funeral on 1st April 2008. A heart breaking and painful moment. Most of us cannot hold our tears when paying our last respect and bidding farewell to our beloved Bee Hooi, a dear sister and a dear friend. Rest In Peace, Bee Hooi. Although this is the final journey for Bee Hooi in this world but it is definitely not the end of her chapter in our lives. Our dear Bee Hooi will remain in our hearts forever.

The Altar

On the way to Crematorium Hall in Mount Erskine, Penang.
(photo taken from Kwong Wah newspaper)

More photos taken on The Funeral Day (1st April 2008) is available at Wang HL's Flickr Photo Album and Lian Chye's Multiply Photo Album.

Fr Dr Mary Cardosa

2008-04-03T23:55:00.007+08:00

Taken from Malaysian Association in France, written by Dr Mary Cardosa

Dear friends,

After reading all the feedback on what a wonderful person Bee Hooi was, I want to add something: I was fortunate to have the opportunity to have some interaction with Bee Hooi and always found her, as others have, to be a remarkable and admirable person. As President of the MSA, and in response to suggestions from Dato Jahizah and others, I am proposing that we acknowledge Bee Hooi's untimely death and her contribution to Anaesthesia at our forthcoming AGM/ASM in Langkawi.

In addition, I am also asking Wee Leong to write a short article about Bee Hooi and her "true Malaysian" spirit to be published in the Berita MMA (she was also an MMA member). Last but not least, I would like to post the following poem for all of us to read, because I feel that it fits Bee Hooi's personality and outlook on life and because Bee Hooi lives on in everyone she has touched in her life. Mary The poem is entitled "Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep" and is attributed to Mary Elizabeth Frye (1904-2004). There are a few (slightly different) versions but I like this best.

Mary Cardosa

Do not stand at my grave and weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

Just a sweet note

2008-04-03T20:56:00.002+08:00

Came across this in OT call room...

Fasting & Prayer Session for Bee Hooi

2008-04-03T19:02:00.000+08:00

When Dr Tan Bee Hooi went for treatment in Paris, we did't have direct contact with her, but collecting information from emails and updates via FaceBook. When we get to know Bee Hooi had to undergo second craniectomy coz of the complications (intra cranial bleeding) arised after embolisation of AVM, Choo suggested to hold a combined fasting and prayer session for Bee Hooi, which will be held on Monday (24/3/08) 7 am till 7 pm, regardless our Faith, Belief or Religion. This is the first time we held such a fasting and prayer session.

Although at the end, Bee Hooi still left us, as God loves her more and doesn't want to see her suffering. Hence, Bee Hooi is now in better hands and in a better place. Saying Goodbye is never easy (infact, very painful) and most of us were in tears when we bid the final farewell, but I believe we will meet with Bee Hooi again, someday....

Here are the caption of our discussion regarding the Fasting and Prayer Session for Bee Hooi, our dear sister, our dear friend and our dear colleague whom we love...

Choo :
Bee Hooi, we don't really know what's the situation there and although we are unable to be there with you physically, but remember, you'll be in our prayers. Guys, what do you think, shall we have a combine fasting and prayer session for Bee Hooi this Monday?

Chen :
Life is fragile and we dunno what might happen the next minute. Although i'm outstation at the moment (I'm now in Miri), but thanks for all the updates here. Will continue to keep Bee Hooi in my prayers. I'll be back to Penang next Monday night.

Goay :
Am thinking of having a prayer for her in the temple... I think we shall fast for a day and do prayer for Dr Tan BHooi... May the force be with her...

Anisa :
If God answers our prayer, He is increasing our faith,
If God delays it, He is increasing our patience,
If God does not answer the prayer, perhaps He has better plans for us..
So guys, dont worry about having to go through these difficult times, as sth better is awaiting us. And every challenge in life makes us wiser and more mature.. err... older also of course :-)

Divya :
I think Choo's suggestion for a fasting and prayer session for BH is a great idea. Do you think we can all do it? No matter what our faiths and beliefs are maybe come Mon we could all fast and keep her utmost in our prayers. I wonder how the operation went and whether her parents are going to Paris. And it's terrible to think that she's all alone in a foreign country with no friends and family with her... but it doesn't matter because prayers are dialogues with God and He hears and answers them in His own way.

"And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask anything in my name, I will do it. I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you."

Choo :
Div, i'm so excited you've agreed for the fasting and prayer thingy. ok lah, we'll do it this way...on Monday morning, i'll open the fasting session with a prayer on Facebook. Then those of us who wants to fast can start fasting which ever way they're comfortable with. then will break fast at 7 pm with a prayer. Would you like to say the closing prayer, div?

Divya :
Ok. That's sounds good, a fasting and prayer session via facebook, which means everyone can participate cos almost everyone logs on at least once a day. I can't guarantee that the closing prayer will happen at 7pm but I'll close the session on Mon, and we'll break the fast at 7pm. To everyone, please feel free to pray online if u want to, or any way that you're comfortable with.

Chan :
I've never voluntarily fasted in my life.... but I would like to give it a try for the cause. :-)

Anisa :
I'm in for the fasting and prayer..

Divya :
Anyway, latest news on BH: had a second crani whole avm thrombosed so they took it out and they believe they have taken out everything so hopefully when she recovers she won't have to go through any more procedures! I think that's fantastic! Since op went well, the outcome looks good. News fr Dr Tan. (I'm on call with her today so that's how I found out.)

Chen :
Divya, Thanks for the update regarding Bee Hooi's progress. Glad to hear that the crani went on well and keep fingers crossed that BH will recover soon. I will join u all in this session.

Choo :
Folks, before we start our fasting session today, let's pray...

dear lord in heaven,
we thank you father God for all the blessings you have given all of us so far. We thank you for your mercy and your kindness in our lifes. that despite our sins, you continue to forgive us and shower us with love and compassion, comfort and strength as we go through life and it's temptations.

Therefore we would like to pray today specially for our dear friend who is currently in Paris undergoing treatment for an AVM. we pray that you'll be by her side, protecting her as she goes through her operations, comforting her of all her pain and sufferings, giving her strength to recover fully and come back safely to her family and friends. we pray that you would hold her hand every step of the way, that she'll know she's not alone.

Therefore lord, as we fast today, please also give us the strength and wisdom for the day. Thank you once again Lord for your mercy and grace. And all this we pray in Jesus's name, amen.

Divya :
Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day;
Earth’s joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see;
O Thou who changest not, abide with me.

Come not in terrors, as the King of kings,
But kind and good, with healing in Thy wings,
Tears for all woes, a heart for every plea
Come, Friend of sinners, and thus bide with me.

Thou on my head in early youth didst smile;
And, though rebellious and perverse meanwhile,
Thou hast not left me, oft as I left Thee,
On to the close, O Lord, abide with me.

I need Thy presence every passing hour.
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes;
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee;
In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

Choo :
Thanks div...let's keep Bee Hooi in our hearts as we go through today. and whenever we feel our hunger is overcoming us, our anger empowering us, or self pity is taking over, our pain is suffocating us, our suffering is killing us, remember that god is always with us and remember bee hooi's pain and sufferings.

and whenever we feel happy today, we feel treasured today, we feel we're not alone today, we feel honoured today, we feel satisfied today, we feel joyous today, then give thanks and be grateful for all your blessings and remember those who are not as fortunate.

and at each step of the way, remember, God is always with us...

Lee :
let us pray for Bee Hooi....

Divya :
Closing Prayer.

Dear Lord, we thank You for this day and for enabling us to fast and pray for BH. We thank You for giving us this opportunity to get together despite our different schedules that we might spend some time in prayer for her recovery.
We thank You for all that You've blessed us with especially for our families, good health and happiness. We thank You for guiding us in all that we do and for giving us hope even when it seems all hope is lost.
We would like to pray for BH, that she will have a speedy recovery and that she has seen the last of the worst. We thank You for letting things happen exactly as they have for only You know what is going to happen in the future and all we can do is put our trust in You. Please take good care of her and bring her safely back to us and her family.

The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you.
The Lord lift up His countenance on you
And give you peace.

Amen.

Choo :
Thanks div...i feel so refreshed and satisfied as i broke fast just now. at least i know we did a little something for bee hooi...and those of you people who participated in today's fasting and prayer session, thank you very much for taking time and effort to do so. i know many of us find this new, but the end point is, we took the effort. thanks.... :)

Goay :
Thanks all for the prayers... we all pray in our own prayers and do our part in wishing our beloved Dr Tan Bee Hooi is fine and returning soon to Penang Malaysia... May Lord Buddha helps her, guides her in this difficult time...
Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu...

Letter from Embassy of Malaysia in Paris

2008-04-03T16:15:00.003+08:00

Dr. Tan Bee Hooi, an anesthetist at the Hospital Pulau Pinang, passed away on 26 March 2008 due to complications from surgeries relating to arteriovenous malformation (AVM) in her brain. Dr. Tan has been undergoing treatment at the Fondation Rothschild, under the care of Professor Jacques Moret, a world renowned interventional neuro-radiologist.

The complicated procedure of the embolization of the AVM on 11 March 2008 went well. However, the condition of Dr. Tan, or Bee Hooi as she was fondly known, took a turn for the worse. She passed away peacefully due to complications from the follow-up surgeries.

Despite the grief following her loss, her family had taken the bold and timely decision to donate her organs to the recipients in France and Europe, which included her cornea, heart, kidney and liver. Her father, Dato’ Tan Gin Soon believed that her daughter would have wanted him to do this, given her deep and abiding interest to serve fellow human beings. Dato’ Tan Gin Soon will return to Penang with her daughter’s remains on Saturday, 29 March 2008.

The Malaysian Ambassador to France, Dato’ S. Thanarajasingam in conveying and extending his condolences, praised Dr. Tan for doing Malaysia proud of her organ donation to the needy patients in France and Europe. "She was truly a remarkable woman. Even in her death, she has given life".

Embassy of Malaysia

Paris
28 March 2008
http://www.kln.gov.my/?m_id=44&id=1246

Caption from Dr LimWL

2008-04-03T00:09:00.002+08:00

Caption from Dr Lim WL,

It is now 5:00pm Wednesday in Paris (26.3.08)

Dr. Tan Bee Hooi was diagnosed brain dead on the later part of Tuesday morning. Doctors in the ICU enquired if she had considered to be an organ donor otherwise the next step was to withdraw support. We explained that it was likely that the family would agree but needed their presence to declare their willingness to donate Bee Hooi's organs.

This morning her father, sister and the father of her two children arrived at Paris. They had taken the flight from KLIA on Tuesday night. They were brought to the hospital immediately and allowed special visitation rights. Here we were informed that Bee Hooi had already pledged to be a organ donor while in Malaysia. Hence it was the family's desire that those wishes of Bee Hooi should be fulfilled even in France.

It was good to have the family to here in Paris to see Bee Hooi and bid her farewell. Grieving is always painful and very personal.

They were also able to meet Prof. Jacques Moret who took much time explaining what was done to Bee Hooi and the subsequent complications that arose as a result of the embolization.

Next they were taken to the Malaysian Embassy in France and were received by our Ambassador. Our ambassador conveyed his condolences and offered help to the family in whatever way possible to expediate the return of Bee Hooi's remains.

The organ harvesting will probably start late this evening and will not finish until early tomorrow morning.

I have no more tears for Bee Hooi, only respect and admiration for this wonderful person and a true Malaysian.

Lim Wee Leong

2008-04-02T21:52:00.004+08:00

Evening dinner during MSA Melacca 2006... photos contributed by Ang YK

More photos

2008-04-02T21:39:00.003+08:00

these are the photos contributed by Chen

More Photos...

2008-04-02T00:10:00.005+08:00

These are the photos contributed by Dr Nurul Tan

Addendum (from the comment given by Dr Nurul) :
These photos were taken on 20 Jan 2008 during our hike to Pantai Keracut,Taman negeri Pulau Pinang. I'm glad we made the trip on that day after a few postponements earlier. Bee Hooi wanted to get her children to get used to the outdoor life and simple adventures in nature.

Photos (1)

2008-04-01T23:49:00.005+08:00

Phuah's Wedding Dinner (2005)

Seafood Porridge Steamboat (2005)

OT Night @ Northam's Hotel (2006)
(photo contributed by Dr Ang YK)

MSA 2007
(photo contributed by Dr Lee CK)

A short video clip

2008-04-01T22:41:00.002+08:00

A sweet and short video clip of Dr Tan Bee Hooi taken by Dr GanCC inside the OT Recovery Room, Penang Hospital.

Dr Tan Bee Hooi

2008-04-01T21:46:00.005+08:00

This blog is created in remembrance of my beloved and dear friend cum colleague, Dr Tan Bee Hooi who had left us on 25.3.2008. This is a place for me and my other friends/colleagues to reminisce our memories and happy moments shared together with Bee Hooi. Everyone is welcomed to contribute your thoughts.

Bee Hooi did her MBBS degree in University of Sydney, Australia and her housemanship in Penang Hospital in 1998. I get to know Bee Hooi since March 2000, when I joined as M.O. in the Anaes Department in Penang Hospital, with Dr Ng SH as our Head of Department. Bee Hooi is a nice, cheerful, outgoing, hardworking and dedicated doctor with a kind and caring heart and I enjoyed talking with her. She is one of the most optimistic and courageous person that I know of up to this day, and also a person whom I respect. I still remembered her doing the ICU rounds with me when she was termed (in January 2001). She was still actively doing the peripheral GICU round the day before she delivered her first child. Her first child was delivered in Penang Hospital

Bee Hooi left Penang Hospital in mid 2001 to UK, following her husband. Throughout this period of time (from July 2001 till January 2005, as she came back to Penang in February 2005), we still communicate frequently via emails, sharing all the happy and sad moments of our daily lives and updating her with what were going on in the Anaes Department.

Bee Hooi delivered her second baby 2 days after she sat for her primary FRCA MCQ exam (on 2/4/03). And the amazing thing is that she went to sit for her primary OSCE/VIVA the next day after her delivery (on post partum Day 1) and PASSED !! (Despite being tired as she had just delivered and had sleepless night going through labour and looking after her baby the nights before). She passed her Final Exam in 2004, obtaining both the FCARCSI (Ireland) and FRCA (London), 2 months apart. Bee Hooi came back to Penang in early 2005 and continue working as an Anaesthetist in Penang Hospital later (in the same year).

I'm glad I still keep all those emails (there are hundreds of them) and it really bring a smile to me when I read them two nights ago. Some of those small minute things which I have forgotten and now I can reminisce back, thanks to those emails.

Bee Hooi is really a remarkable and selfless person. Even in Death, she has given life to others... Rest in Peace Bee Hooi and I will miss you forever. You are such a dear sister, a dear friend and a dear colleague of mine...